northumbrianreflections

 In a few days time, the decorations will come down, the lights that have pierced the darkness of winters nights will be put out, Christmas wrapping paper will no more be seen until next year. The carol singing will cease, the Christmas specials on radio and television will be a distant memory. Only the returned goods queues in shops now open with New Year’s sales from unsold Christmas products and the credit card bills will remind us of a festive period that has quickly passed.

Christmas comes but once a year and with it all the paraphernalia, presents, pressures and pleasures. But what of its abiding story? What of the implications, challenges and encouragements  found in the story of Christ’s coming?

What of the revolution that began so long ago that still disturbs and challenges as much as it comforts and brings hope to our world?

God’s appearing as a baby, a vulnerable human child turned all the religious expectations of the Messiah on its head. The Kingdom of God that Jesus came to usher in marked such a contrast to how kings and rulers governed. The ways of God, revealed through Christ, marked a whole new way of being and doing. This was a revolution unparalleled in human history. Creative, redeeming, life-giving, healing, filled with hope, Christ brought then, as now, transformation to lives and communities that recognised in his coming a new way for living.

Being in Ireland over Christmas, the news headlines there were dominated by the talks that were convened under the chairmanship of a senior US diplomat, Dr Richard Haass. He led talks to resolve some of the most divisive issues that have undermined and hampered the Northern Ireland Peace Process. Sadly, there has been no breakthrough but a breaking up of the talks without agreement. Seeped in a history of conflict, violence, hurt, misunderstanding, sectarian prejudice and unforgiving bitterness that so scars the psyche and landscape of Northern Ireland, the process of peace and reconciliation is a long and complex road. Political parties, seeking to settle differences over parades, flags and the legacy of the Troubles, have so far failed to deliver any sense of agreement or consensus. Despite the rhetoric that is trying to be positive and upbeat, disappointment pervades. More than 3,500 people died in the Troubles, and in over 3000 cases no one was prosecuted. Fifteen years on from the Good Friday Agreement there is still no agreement as to how to investigate these killings, administer justice and bring resolution, closure, peace and reconciliation to those affected.

In one sense I feel very hesitant to make any comment on what I’ve seen, heard and read, but I am left disappointed, not only with the collapse of the talks but also with the politicians representing the people of Northern Ireland.

I feel equally disappointed and disillusioned with many of our own political leaders. Their task is onerous and the burdens upon them are many and the constant onslaught and misrepresentation of them and their policies by the media makes their work so difficult. Yet I can’t help feeling that, if this is what modern democracy has produced in terms of our political leaders, then we seriously need to question its efficacy in delivering good government.

One of my favourite films of last year was the Oscar-winning, Lincoln. It was Abraham Lincoln who said of politics: Government of the people, by the people, for the people. I am not convinced that we are currently being governed well. I fear that those who govern on our behalf have become something of a ruling elite, cut-off from the real life experiences from those whom they claim to represent. When democracy is all about fighting for the middle ground, maintaining power in the key marginal seats, pandering to the media-fuelled fears of a vociferous minority or being so in the league with press barons as to ‘buy’ power, there is something seriously wrong with the system and those within it.

When morality went out of the marketplace and all sense of the economy existing for the common good was replaced by greed, gambling and godlessness, the world was thrown into a major recession for which the poor, not the rich, have paid the price. Similarly when integrity is removed from the political realm it is the breeding ground for injustice, populism, manipulation, spin and moral cowardice.

No wonder people are disillusioned, disinterested and disconnected from politics, which contrary to popular opinion, does make a huge difference to people’s lives.

Much of the world cries out for change. Were we not anaesthetised in the West by consumerism and the ‘feel good factor’, we too might see beneath the surface of our own society and demand change.

But who can we look up to? South Africa looked to Nelson Mandela, who chose the way of peace and reconciliation, who led by integration not retribution.

An Sang Su Chi whose leadership resolve to bring her people freedom and other basichuman rights remained during years of house arrest.

Last year Venezuela lost arguably its greatest and most inspirational political leader Hugo Chávez. Get beyond the North American neocons and their rhetoric that called openly for him to be assassinated and you encounter a man, who far from being perfect, was nevertheless committed as a leader and who was prepared to rule for the people, the vast majority of whom were poor and who for years had suffered under a ‘bourgeois democracy’.  He was a fearless defender of the poor and the oppressed and his courage in being prepared to stand with them against the oppressors, whatever the cost, brought him powerful enemies.

Those of us who know the Christmas story, know only too well, that when you stand up for the poor and oppressed, for truth and justice and your words and actions challenge the status quo, you make enemies, often among the rich and powerful. As was the experience for Jesus, history records the stories of leaders who came to bring a different way for living; a way for living as expressed in the Magnificat:…. He has brought down the powerful from their thrones and lifted up the lowly; he has filled the hungry with good things and sent the rich away empty. Any life that seeks to challenge or undermine, expose the lies and injustices on which wealth and power is founded will be subject to opposition, misrepresentation and suffering. As in the case of Jesus, so too for people like Martin Luther King, Nelson Mandela, Hugo Chavez; if the lies, ridicule and opposition don’t work, your enemies have to get rid of you, to kill you.

South America has for many years been politically and economically unstable. It’s an interesting continent and poses both a challenge and a threat to existing economic and political power bases. Chavez is dead, but in the south of that great continent, the Uruguayan President José Mujica is showing all the traits of someone who is a political leader, like Chavez, of a different kind to that of so many contemporary world leaders. In an age of austerity, he lives and leads by example. Forsaking the state palace for a small farmhouse, he donates the vast bulk of his salary to social projects, flies economy class and drives an old Volkswagen Beetle. He describes his beloved Uruguay as “an island of refugees in the world of crazy people”.

He leads a government that sets prices for essential commodities such as milk and provides free computers and education for every child. Key energy and communications industries are all nationalized. He has led the world in moves to restrict tobacco consumption. Living within its means and actively promoting the use of renewable energy and recycling at the UN last year he rallied against the “blind obsession” to achieve growth through greater consumption. He has the courage to speak out and condemn a free-market global economy: “I’m just sick of the way things are. We are in an age in which we can’t live without accepting the logic of the market, contemporary politics is all about short-term pragmatism. We have abandoned religion and philosophy… what we have left is the automotive and of doing what the market tells us.” Gosh, if only his words could be echoed by our own politicians in the West, allied to moral courage, we might have a different way of looking at the world.

 I think it’s remarkable and a real sign of the Holy Spirit that Pope Francis is from South America.  He too, like Mujica, has abandoned the refinements of the luxurious accommodation occupied by most popes in Rome for a small apartment and rather than being chauffeur driven in an expensive limousine, drives around in an old Renault 4. An Argentinian who is now rattling the cages of the Vatican, (as much as the gearbox on his Renault!) shaking and re-shaping the renewal of the Catholic Church and speaking out to the politicians and world’s financial institutions about their responsibility for the common good.

I’m also hugely encouraged by what I see and read about Archbishop Justin Welby. A church leader who is prepared, with grace and humility, to challenge politicians, banks and financiers about their responsibility to others, not just to stakeholders. When the money markets exist purely for financial gain and not the common good, we risk not so much a stock market crash but the judgement of God.

When I was in the Czech Republic earlier last year I remember speaking to a good friend from Bulgaria, a leading academic, who, critiquing the attitude to education in the West, raised huge concerns that we were now simply educating people in order to compete and serve a technocratic, consumerist capitalist economic worldview. We had lost the ability to be educated for education’s sake, we, as the Uruguayan president observed, have forsaken religion and philosophy and the ability to ask not just what does society need us to be but rather what kind of society do we want to live in?

Of course people like Mujica will be regarded (as no doubt I will be regarded by some readers) as being naïve, but sometimes simplicity, wisdom, compassion and commitment to live by one’s values and ideals provide an antidote to the morally polluted and dysfunctional populist policies. One of the things that struck a chord with me with the Uruguayan president was when he said: “we can almost recycle everything now. If we lived within our means, by being prudent, the 7 billion people in the world could have everything they needed. Global politics should be moving in that direction…. But we think is people and countries, not as global citizens… the world will always need revolution. That doesn’t mean shooting and violence. A revolution is when you change your thinking. Confucianism and Christianity were both revolutionary.”

  And this takes me back to where I began this blog: to the Christmas story and to the advent of the revolution and a different way for living, under the leading of the greatest revolutionary the world has ever known, Jesus Christ. As I think about the coming year and the call upon our lives as a community to embrace our new monastic Rule of Life, our Way for Living, I see within its principal foundations, Availability and Vulnerability, a response to the call of Christ, to follow him. Any in monastic rule of life is a response to the call of Christ, a way for living out his revolutionary ideals. The Sermon on the Mount is Christ’s revolutionary manifesto for the world; a call to a different way of living, a revolution that brings transformation, hope, peace and community to a fractured world.

The outworking of our calling as a community is to live out the gospel. The seeking of God, the one thing necessary, will inevitably bear fruit in our being caught up in expressing his heart for the world. It will demand of us our lives in the cause of the revolution. To seek him is to serve him. The peace of Lord Christ, we pray, go with us, wherever he may send us.

In the name of Christ, bring on the revolution!

Attending a Christmas Day service will never be quite the same as this year’s in Ireland.  With nearly all our close family, all three generations, we made our way across the winding lanes and undulating landscape of County Down for a service at the church whose name brought much puzzlement to one of the little ones, ”Why is it called, Kilmore Church, Grandad?”It’s not easy to explain to a four year-old that the word Kil in Gaelic means ‘church’.

The amusing episode which brought a smile to my face ever since has been the memory of the rector, warmly greeting the congregation, coming down the aisle and beginning his family service talk. Making connections with the children he was enquiring and discovering some of the delightful presents that they had received allegedly from Santa Claus. (Isn’t it funny, that we teach our children not to talk or go to strangers, not to be enticed by anybody who offers them sweets or other gifts and then, once a year, children are handed over to an elderly man, wearing a very strange outfit, who lives in a cave or wooden shack and if they good and sit on his knee they might receive a present! Never really understood that?).

As other children showed off their dolls, toys or latest gadgetry, the shocked, certainly surprised expression on the rector’s face revealed an encounter with three of our grandchildren; I am not sure that he had ever seen the Incredible Hulk, Batman or a Tyrannosaurus Rex in his congregation before but here this unusual ‘trinity’ appeared and momentarily threw him from his carefully prepared talk about Christmas puddings!

Christmas for us in Ireland held many happy times in moments of sharing as a family. The storms that raged around us on two nights gave way to beautiful blue skies and sunny days. The only shadow on our family gathering was the absence of our Armenian daughter-in-law, who is, as yet, unable to take up residency within the UK and our son-in-law who is completing his pilot training with British Airways in Arizona.

As we successively bade farewell to the family; dropping our youngest daughter off at Belfast airport, our younger son for his ferry and bade farewell to our oldest, his wife and three children who live in Ireland, I now know with greater intensity what it felt like for my own parents as we left them following many happy family gatherings. A mixture of sadness at parting and joy in seeing how the children and grandchildren were growing and developing and finding a life independent from the constant parental care and involvement in their lives.

I know that for many, family rifts and a breakdown in relationships are a cause of much pain and heartache and the prospect of Christmas induces much sadness and anxiety for many but I am thankful for the family that I am privileged to be part of and who afford me such joy and pleasure. Not that we are perfect in any sense and we too have our fair share of hassle and angst at times in trying to accommodate the needs and wishes, wants and desires of so many people. But in the big things; outlook on life, values and priorities we are pretty much on the same page and that augers well for good relationships and we are able to celebrate our unity in diversity. So like the Psalmist, I can as a father and grandfather declare, children are a blessing, they are a gift from God (costly, but a blessing!).

We have many good friends in Ireland and it was always going to be difficult to see them when time, rightly, was given over as priority to being family together. As it says in our Community’s Rule of Life:  Family life is holy ground.

We did however manage to invite some of our friends who lived in close proximity to where we were staying around for an evening before we left. With short notice and with their own busy Christmas plans and family commitments, they nevertheless came and we had a delightful time sharing together, catching up, laughing, discussing and simply being together. These are friends who we have come to know and love and with whom we feel at home. Friends who we sadly don’t see very often, but when we do there is a heart connection and depth of friendship that is very life-giving. We talked about our hopes and fears for the coming year, a year that for many in that circle of friends will bring many changes and challenges. We ended our time together with a short reflection, the lighting of a candle and prayer, a fitting end to a gift of an evening together.

  Friendship is a gift from God. The first covenant which God made with his people was with Abraham, who was known as a friend of God. Friendship is a theme that resonates throughout the pages of Scripture and when Jesus called people to follow him and founded a community of disciples, he called them his friends. I love the Quaker expression, The Society of Friends.

There is something inherently good about friendship. As a gift of God it is something to be treasured. It is especially within the context of the Northumbria Community that I have seen friendship and companionship emerge, blossom and grow among people of different backgrounds, traditions, experiences, cultures and faith journeys. Friendship as a gift of God that becomes one of the foundational building blocks of community; friendship that can celebrate diversity, friendship that is not coercive or manipulative; friendship that is not based on fulfilling one’s own needs but by being concerned for the welfare of others.

It is I believe a sign of God’s Spirit at work among people when friendship is experienced among people. One of the great gifts of God and the good news of his Gospel is that he is able to change and transform people from enmity to friendship, from indifference to compassion, from independence to interdependence.

I love one of the songs that we often used to sing in the early years of the Community’s life, ‘ God called forth the people’. One of the verses declares: When we started, we were strangers, we hardly knew each other’s names, now we are brothers and sisters, and we will never be the same. I love it because it conveys very simply our experience as a Community, an experience of friendship and companionship that is a true gift of God. In a fragmented world where conflict and disharmony abound, the gift of friendship is a sign of the kingdom of God breaking in, a bridge of hope and a new way of being and relating in a world where increasingly we are struggling to cope with people who are different from ourselves. Friendship is the antidote to sectarianism, racism and sexism.

  This evening, New Year’s Eve, back at home in Northumberland we will celebrate the New Year in uncharacteristic fashion for us. We were too late to get tickets for the annual New Year’s Eve meal, dance and party at the local hotel. The trip up to Edinburgh to celebrate Hogmanay appears now to be a thing of the past as the idea of driving home in the middle of the night no longer has the appeal that it once did.

No, this year we will drive over to Kelso with our and eldest daughter and her two children, potter around the shops and cobbled streets, take our dog along the riverside walk, before returning home to enjoy a meal together. We will no doubt see the New Year in at midnight, whether we participate in first-footing remains to be seen but we will raise a glass and if the television’s on sing along with the familiar Hogmanay song auld lang syne. We will do what most people, south of the border certainly do, singing the first verse and chorus and then humming the tune for the rest of the song!

Robbie Burns who compiled the song was a very interesting character and one day as we pass through Dumfries & Galloway on our way to Ireland I will stop off at the museum dedicated to his memory and discover more about this remarkable poet. Auld Lang Syne begins by posing a rhetorical question as to whether it is right that old times be forgotten, and is generally interpreted as a call to remember long-standing friendships.

Whether we raise a glass or not to toast the New Year in I will at the turning of the year pause and give thanks to God for family and good friends.

I pray that your New Year celebrations will be good and that God’s blessing may rest upon you, your family and your friends throughout the coming year. In the challenges and opportunities, encouragements and testing times ahead may you know the companionship of family and friends as you journey into the future.

Bless you and take care

Roy

On Christmas Eve we will be joining the congregation of Down Cathedral in Ireland for a candlelit carol service. The cathedral will be packed with people listening to the traditional service of nine lessons and carols. Everywhere there will be small log holders with candles and night lights; a health and safety nightmare and a source of anxiety for my wife who has a thing about candles and the risk of fire. I guess this springs from her years living on the top floor of a house over a pub, in the days when bars were smoke laden with customers’ cigarettes. Consequently, we have few candles in our home and the ones we have tend to be battery operated, which to my mind is eminently sensible but aesthetically not so pleasing.

I love producing and directing the Community’s Celtic Fire, telling the story of the early pioneers of the faith in Britain and the relevance of their spiritaulity today. We tell a range of stories in church and secular settings through music, storytelling, dance, drama, audio visuals and loads and loads of candles, real wax candles! I love it!

There’s a piece within me that loves fire; its warmth and light dispelling the cold and its flames extinguishing the darkness. I love the stove in my study and in idle moments I peer through the glass door and imagine scenes and stories that the fire makes with it’s burning coals or logs, just as I did as a youngster, sitting by the open fire in the room that we used at Christmas and other special occasions, like when people came to stay. It used to be the siting room in Whitley Bay but when we moved to Harrogate, it became known as the ‘lounge’!

Fire can of course be dangerous and destructive and its burning images are used to convey scenes of death, damnation and fear in apocalyptic writings and Religious art.

Its destructive nature has wreaked havoc for many lives and nations, wiping out whole communities and scorching the environment in its burning wake.

But it’s positive qualities and images can be life giving. Think of one of the sayings of Jesus in John’s Gospel, I am the Light of the World, whoever follows me shall not walk in darkness but have the light of life.

One of Graham Kendrick’s worship songs that I love has the line, Let the flame burn brighter, in the heart of the darkness, turning night to glorious day. And then there is Bernadette Farrell’s wonderful song, Christ be our light.

Peter Benenson, the founder of Amnesty International, at a Human Rights Day ceremony in 1961 lit a candle which was circled by barbed wire which has since become the society’s emblem. He declared, as he lit the candle, that it was, better to light a candle in the darkness than curse the dark.

Darkness has long been a metaphor for ignorance or evil. The Bible contains hundreds of references to darkness, referring either to the period of ignorance before the realisation of faith, (prior to seeing the light), death, or to the Devil (The Prince of Darkness). Followers of Christ are called to walk in the light …. put on the armour of light…..and let our light shine….

The death of Nelson Mandela recently brought South Africa once more to the attention of the world’s media. During the dark days of apartheid Christians used to light candles and place them in their windows as a prophetic sign declaring that one day the sectarian, racist evils of apartheid would be defeated. Darkness would be dispelled by light, justice would come, hatred would give way to peace through the doors of repentance and reconciliation. All over the country candles would be lit as signs of hope on behalf of people determined to end Apartheid. The ruling White Government, threatened by such a show of solidarity from the growing anti-apartheid movement passed a law banning lit candles in a window. A law making it illegal to place a lit candle in a window!  It was an crime equal to owning a firearm. Owning a candle was considered as dangerous and as much a threat as a gun. It sound ridiculous but there was truth in the Ruling Party’s fears. The candle was mightier than the gun because what the candle represented was hope and hope will conquer despair and transform situations. Lighting a candle is making a statement, that carries the hope and vision that, one day, things will be different.

Bishop Desmond Tutu, a personal friend of Nelson Mandela, famously said during the Troubles in his country that, Hope is being able to see that there is light despite all of the darkness.

Lighting a candle and offering a prayer is a powerful weapon against the evil and injustices of the world.

I will light a candle at the service and offer a prayer; for Northern Ireland that guns and bombs may find no returning place and that the fuels that feed terrorism here and everywhere in the world; fear, insecurity, injustice, poverty, inequality, ignorance, bigotry and sectarianism will be extinguished. With a lit candle before me I will also pray for Syria, Nigeria, Central African Republic and remember those, some of whom I know, who, through bereavement or loss of other kinds this year, enter this Christmas with darkness as their companion.

I remember lighting a candle and praying regularly over eighteen months for a close friend who was battling with disease. This time last year we sat together by Fenwick Lawson’s sculpture, the pieta in Durham cathedral and gave thanks to God for her healing and recovery. Lighting a candle and praying had been part of the accompaniment of journeying with someone whose life had been overshadowed by the darkness of cancer. We gave thanks and walked out into the crisp, cool but bright sunshine that diffused all darkness and mirrored the closing of a dark and difficult chapter in my friend’s life.

Whatever or whoever you pray for, light a candle this Christmas, not just to add atmosphere to your home but as a symbol of hope and healing. Whether battery operated or real fuse, light a candle this Christmas and offer a pray to the Christ who is the Light of the World.

Have a Blessed Christmas.

Whenever I think of Christmas services, I recall the time that we organised a community Carol Concert in our first church, Portrack. This was in the 1980’s when the North East was savaged by government economic policy leading to massive unemployment. We went from 18 to over 50% unemployment on the three estates where the church was located. In response to such devastation that damaged individuals and the community to this day, we sought to counteract the damage that being out of work does to people by raising their spirits, affirming their worth and value and reminding them of the skills and creative gifts that they possessed.

We were also involved in establishing and working with a job creation agency that was founded in the Catholic Church at the top end of Stockton High Street. Over 100 people were given short-term work opportunities under Manpower Service Commission funding and as a church we employed five people which benefited the dispirited local neighbourhood; an elderly care worker, children’s co-ordinator, community visitor and youth worker. The brutality of the Government then that removed funding for such schemes meant the closure of the agency and people laid off within weeks of the decision to withdraw finances.
Enough of my angst with a government that prospered the rich, allowed for unchecked free-market economic policies, sold off our countries natural resources and national assets, got rid of the valuable asset of so much council housing, paving the way for the private sector to amass profits for shareholders and not for the equitable distribution of public funds to the general public. Policies that left communities bereft of hope and with little consideration for the future well-being.

However the purpose of this blog is not to berate Thatcherism but to lighten the spirits at this festive time. When the job creation agency was running we also employed a young person who did some secretarial work. In the last minute rush to get the song sheets printed in time for the carol service, there was clearly inadequate proof-reading. It was a good service and the disused church that had become a community centre was packed with people from the neighbourhood. I can even remember speaking on the subject of “Where are you in the story?” but if you were to ask people what their abiding memory of the service was, it would have related to that unfortunate and hilarious mis-print which had the congregation singing, ‘Away with a manager! It completely ruined what I think is a rather sickly, albeit much loved children’s Christmas carol but brought the house down with laughter.

On some occasions I use voice software recognition and was glad recently that I had checked something that I had dictated in preparation for a talk I was giving on Mary being the God bearer. I was writing about her carrying her first born son, and that she was literally full of grace and truth within her womb. I was so glad I proof-read and corrected the phrase Mary carried cheeses for nine months.

Shirley, my wife, returned from work the other day and shared with us about her colleague in the library last week. A customer, or as is politically correct, a ‘library user’ approached the librarian and asked if she had any books on psychopaths. A rather unusual request, (although Channel 4 did recently run a whole evening on what was billed as ‘Psychopath Night’ ~ so glad that the media is keeping up broadcasting standards!!!!!). Shirley’s colleague kept calm and showed the man the health and wellbeing section and returned to her counter. Twenty minutes later the man approached her again and said, “I’m sorry to bother you but I can’t find any books on cycle paths”.

Last year at a civic carol service, we were instructed on the hymn sheets that the first two verses of Once in Royal David’s city would be sung, “without musical accomplishment”.

And finally; we’ve been working really hard throughout this year on the second volume of readings, prayers, liturgies and other resources for Celtic Daily Prayer and I’m reminded of the early edition that included the Aidan Compline which included the following misprint “O Christ son of the living God may your holy angels guard our sleep, may they watch over us as we rest and hoover around our beds”. Actually, an angel that hoovered would bring good news of great joy to many!

May your festive season have moments of great joy and much laughter.

Enjoy celebrating CHRISTmas.

There I was in chapel, with Sisters from a Religious Order, praying the Offices and as we were in Advent, we used the Memorial of the Incarnation which included the phrase: Hail, Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with you. It was not a prayer I learned at Bible College, nor one I’ve heard used often in Protestant circles but I was quite inspired by the thought of praying to and bestowing honour upon Mary, the mother of Jesus.               What it did do for me however was to trigger a whole series of reflections that I penned in my journal and from which some thoughts are shared here in this blog.

My mother died five years ago, her death coming after a difficult last few years of her life and a fairly agonising, but thankfully relatively short period, in hospital. Couple that with the loss of my father a year later and Christmas and New Year will always now be associated not only with happy memories but also with reminders, sadly, of their deaths.

I am blessed because I had great parents. They were not perfect but they were good. True, they did go through a difficult patch during my teenage years but they grew out of that by the time I was married!, (which truth be told, was still in my teens). I look back with great affection and much thankfulness for their loving, nurturing, caring, supportive, encouraging and affirming parenting. I miss them and find tears still well up at the thought of them and now as I write. But they are tears of joy and gratitude, without trace of regret or bitterness, which I know, is a blessing that for many is rare. I miss them being there with us or at the end of the phone. I still have to check myself from buying a postcard, which was something I often did, sending them news from many of the places to which my travels took me. Their losses are still felt deeply but it was because of their good parenting that I am who I am today and able to not only cope with their absence but enjoy life as they did.

It was whilst praying one of the Hail Mary’s that I thought about my mum. One of my soul friends introduced me last year to the psychological insights of Attachment Theory, which I have found to be incredibly insightful, helpful, fascinating and disturbing all at the same time. The purpose of this blog is not to describe it in any detail, nor analyse its effectiveness, but drawing on its insights I can look back on my own relationship with my mother with a profound sense of gratitude.

I have no doubt that from the moment I was conceived there was formed an intimate bond with my mother and as a baby and infant child she constantly loved me and provided for me the care and protection I needed which nurtured within me a strong sense of emotional security. Both she and my father provided a ‘secure attachment’, in that they were always available and responsive to me, which didn’t mean that they pandered to my every need but their constant loving attentiveness enabled me to flourish as a human being. They created and consistently maintained appropriate boundaries and were clear about their power and responsibilities as parents. There is a kind of democratisation that seems to me to be going on in modern parenting. The inconsistency of rules and boundaries confuses roles and can lead to very selfish behaviour in both children and parents, creating damage, unstable power dynamics and  confused identities for children.

My childhood memories are incredibly happy ones, even if they did contain those experiences of sitting in the company of adults, when I would rather have been out playing and doing my own thing. It didn’t however do me any harm when we visited my parents’ friends. On the contrary, it taught me some valuable life skills, not least that the world did not revolve around me. Something I fear some parents do, albeit well-intentioned, with their children. I fear they will reap what they have sown, i.e. spoilt kids often leading to selfish adults and when they can’t get what they want, problems occur. Or when parents, at Christmas time especially, think that loving your children is about spoiling them with presents, we have not only forgotten what the Christmas story is all about, i.e. giving not getting but we can raise expectations and contribute to the consumer culture’s obsession with the accumulation of goods. The best things in life are usually free and every parent has the potential to give them; love, security, encouragement, protection and care.

It is said people with ‘secure attachments’ and good child / parent relationships invariably have higher self-esteem, sense of identity, enjoy better relationships with their parents, peers, partner and other adults. They are less aggressive, less prone to depression and more likely to succeed and achieve things. Gosh, and I thought all these things were down to my own making, Myers Briggs type indicator, Motivations personality type, my faith even, but Attachment Theory suggests it was more to do with my mum! You see what I mean about it being both fascinating and disturbing at the same time? Its analysis is perceptive, challenging and if understood, whatever our experience has been, can lead to some measure of healing and a coping or overcoming of those things that undermine our self-esteem.

One thing it has done for me is to heighten my appreciation to God for the mother I was privileged to have.

So when I am next praying the Hail Mary, I will thank God for the mother of our Lord, the God-bearer, who literally in carrying Jesus in her womb, was full of grace. I will also give thanks to God for my own mother, who bore me, nurtured me and with whom I formed an attachment, the good legacy of which, I enjoy to this day, even though she has died.

I remember, with some excitement and trepidation the day I started school. Sitting in the child seat on her bike, it felt like any other day but this was to be different. In the playground of Park Infant School, Whitley Bay, my mum walked me towards a line of children and another adult, whom I later discovered was to be my form teacher. Mum had held my hand many times in those formative years and here she let go and I took the hand of Mrs Chatterley, (she was pleasant but she was no Lady and you certainly wouldn’t have taken her as your lover!). Looking back on the incident in the playground on my first day at school, I now realise that whilst mum let go of my hand she never let go of me in her heart and that is what enabled me to flourish and grow from the cradle to the grave. Of course it’s another example of Attachment Theory; if we are insecurely attached as children we either go too easily with other adults or we will be fearful of going with them.. Good secure attachment helps us in the whole realm of relationships with ourselves, others and God.

As the writer to Proverbs says of a good mother;                                                … her children rise up and call her blessed.     Proverbs 31:28.

I’ve just returned from St Oswald’s near Whitby where I spent some time, mostly silent, on retreat. It’s a valuable discipline that helps me to engage more deeply with the Advent journey in preparation for the celebration of Christmas. It also affords me some intentional time to reflect on the year that has passed.

Going into silence and later sharing with my spiritual director, the overriding feelings that are carried in my heart are those of thankfulness and appreciation for the experiences of 2013.

As is often the case, when you go into silence, thoughts and feelings emerge that trigger mixed emotions and can lead to necessary responsive actions. Such was the case that first evening. Following compline, which for me was very early at 8.30, I retired to my room and sat quietly. Unbidden and unexpectedly I was taken up thinking about the situation of conflict between two good and godly people that remained unreconciled for some time. I felt compelled not only to pray but to write to them on my return from being on retreat. With that resolution made, I went to bed and slept soundly, waking only with the aid of my alarm the next morning.

Showered and dressed I had half an hour before joining the Sisters for Morning Prayer. I pulled back the curtains in my room and before me was the first traces of the sun dawning. The dark and silhouetted landscape across the valley gave way to gleaming shafts of light, red and orange, pink and purple, deepening and radiating streaks of fire across the disappearing dark sky. This was better than breakfast television or the Today programme on the radio.

I had preached on the passage in Isaiah last Sunday morning and now before me was nature’s visual representation of those words of promise spoken through the prophet: The people who walked in darkness have seen a great light; those who lived in a land of deep darkness— on them light has shined. Isaiah 9:2.
The chapel bell was heard in the distance and the lights of the chapel, through stained-glass windows of the Celtic saints, seen across the garden complemented the sunrise and drew me from my room with a view to my seat in the chapel for Morning Office.
The habit of reading Scripture each day, whether I want to or not, is something I know nourishes and nurtures my soul. Ever since being with my friends at IBTS, (International Theological Baptist seminary) in Prague for six weeks earlier this year, I have sought to read a psalm most days. Here in St Oswald’s chapel we read antiphonally, which if you are able to do so without embarrassment or amusement, can actually be a very helpful way of reading scripture with others. It was good as were the intercessions, praying for different people and situations in the world.
I was reminded again of the significant ministry that Religious Orders play in prayer, holding before God the needs of others. Glancing across the chapel, I was mindful of two dear sisters, whose love and devotion to Christ had led them into holy orders many years ago, and who have prayed for me and the Northumbria Community over the last decade. One very frail in body, the other feeling her age but both razor-sharp intellectually, very understanding of happenings in the world and ‘spiritual giants’, who’s listening ears, wise counsel and warm, generous hospitality and grace mirrors the love of the Christ whom they are betrothed to.
I thank God for them, for the Order and for other monastic communities, many of whom we in new monastic circles have drawn inspiration from.
Following Office, breakfast was eaten in silence with the Sisters and other guests and I returned to my room, praying and journalling and later meeting with my spiritual director, with whom there is an ease of sharing one’s heart openly, knowing that being vulnerable and honest will never be exploited or abused, rather it is a means of grace and is soul enriching.
I spent most of the rest of the time praying, reflecting on the landscape of my own heart, pausing often to confess, owning thoughts and feelings, the good the bad and on this occasion, not too many ugly! Some clarity comes to an issue that I’ve been giving time and attention to in recent weeks. A sense of proportion to a niggling question that I’ve been wrestling with and a new perspective on a situation that will demand my time and attention in the New Year is given.
It has been, on this occasion, a deeply peaceful and satisfying time. Just as I am beginning to wallow in the pleasure of the experience I am led to spend time in praying for others. The thought that keeps resonating with me as I pray for people is There is no slack in the system. It seemed a little odd, the idea, but the more I ran with it, the more I was praying for people, places, businesses, organisations, the health service etc where it seems there is so much stress and pressure being caused by there being no slack in the system. No space for thinking clearly, acting wisely. To be able to respond when someone goes off sick or system failure.
Here I was in a convent, retreat house setting, where like our own Community’s mother house, Nether Springs, there is a rhythm to the day, a pattern that orders life in ways that do provide slack in the system; space for reflection, relationship, creativity, re-creation and good practice.
I lead a very busy life and carry lots of responsibilities, travel extensively, work and serve in a myriad of different contexts yet I am kept from the frenetic activity and drivenness that is so much a part of contemporary Western culture by the rhythms and patterns that are found in monastic spirituality.
I believe one of the contributions that the Church and Christian communities can make to a pressured, frenetic pace driven society is to help recover the principle of Sabbath, not as a legalistic entity but as a practice and discipline that is actually life-giving.
I conclude my time by sitting with a mug of tea looking out the window and seeing the sunset. I had hoped for something that might rival the beauty of the dawn but had to be content with a mediocre display! I turned to the Psalms and read Psalm 113 which included these words and concluded my retreat, from the rising of the sun to its setting the name of the Lord is to be praised.
The blessings of being on retreat.

The old adage that politics and religion shouldn’t mix has always caused me some difficulties. I’m interested and involved in both and this week’s news, with happenings in Scotland, Westminster and Iraq, along with news that came to me via the Pope App on my iPhone have triggered some reflections.

I have for many years had an interest in politics. Heightened by an awareness that government policies, contrary to popular belief, do actually make a difference to people’s lives at local, regional, national and international levels It’s certainly among one of the ten other things that I would like to have done were it not for the call to leadership within the church and Christian community.

I first became actively involved in politics during the 1980s when I witnessed at first hand the impact of political theory and economic policy on some of the communities here in the north-east of England who were ravaged by decisions taken by politicians, the vast majority of whom were totally removed from the realities facing people within those communities. When you lived in an area that went from 18% to over 50% unemployment in the space of four years, you carry an awareness of the impact that unemployment, the breakdown of community and the loss of hope has upon the human spirit and society generally.

Later, I became very disillusioned and almost abandoned my allegiance to the political party I joined when we were taken to war in Iraq on spurious grounds, the consequences of which have led not only to the loss of Allied soldiers but of thousands of people in Iraq, Afghanistan and other nations and has destabilized relations and fuelled the fires and fanaticism of fundamentalist groups throughout the world. It grieves me to say this, but I do believe that George Bush and Tony Blair should be brought before the International Criminal Court in the Hague to answer for their actions in Iraq and Afghanistan.

Politics does matter; decisions made by those who rule over us shape our society and the world. The decisions being taken at the present time by our government here in Britain on immigration have an impact not only on our society but on thousands of people throughout the world. I am ashamed that we were labeled by other European leaders this week as the “nasty nation” as much by our attitudes as by the legislation that we are hurriedly pushing through to appease nationalist and racist elements within our society.

I am not saying that immigration is not an issue that must be addressed. The whole subject of integration is of vital importance in an increasingly diverse society. But we need to have a conversation that listens to facts as well as fears, is rooted in justice and compassion, rather than prejudice and bigotry.

One example of the atrocious behavior conducted by the media and tabloids in particular is the constant mantra that immigration is a drain on the British economy. The very opposite is true. Immigration brings more money into the country than it takes out. There are abuses of the system and they make wonderful news headlines but they hide the truth and contribute to attitudes and actions that do little to engender debate, informed discussion and considered policy decisions.

I and genuinely concerned about some of the racist attitudes that I see in some politicians’ rhetoric and heralded as patriotic by large swathes of the media. Such attitudes fuel resentment, bitterness and hatred. How terrible this week to read about the case of Bijan Ebrahimi, an Iranian who had come to England as a refugee in 2001 to find a better life. Wrongly accused of being a paedophile, let down by the police, He was beaten up, stabbed and then set on fire by those who murdered him. False allegations, fuelled with racist hatred was seen as major contributory factors that led to his brutal killing. An extreme example, a terrible incident but a chilling warning about ignorance, prejudice, racism and a simmering resentment and hatred that lies under the subsurface of individuals and communities.  Those who govern should heed the wise words of Abraham Lincoln:  Government of the people, by the people, for the people.

No system of government is perfect. Max Weber the German economist and sociologist describes politics as “The art of compromise and decision-making based on social benefits weighed against costs”.  He also went on to say that politics was not the arena for saints! Yet I despair when people say that whoever they vote for, it will not make any difference or when apathy is so pervasive that people can’t even be bothered to exercise a right that millions in other countries would give anything for.

Call me sad but I was interested in the launch this week of the Scottish Nationalist Party’s White Paper,  “Scotland’s future”. I’m not promising to read its 160 pages and 170,000 words but I will listen to the ideas put by both sides of the argument as to whether Scotland should remain within the UK or become an independent state.  I find it very sad, important though economics is, to see so much of the debate centred around prosperity.

The debate reveals where so much of contemporary Western capitalist society lies: where the money markets, which seem to be to be so devoid of morality, dictate how we live. The Scriptures reveal a very different way of living, where we read that it is righteousness that exalts nation, not wealth accumulation. The Scriptures also remind us to pray for those who rule over us. A timely reminder in these days of turbulence and potential trouble.

This week I was delighted to hear reports of two Church leaders. I was encouraged to see both the Archbishop of Canterbury and Pope Francis speak out against the evils and injustices, exploitation and greed of “unfettered capitalism”. The Pope spoke about this as the new tyranny in the world and called upon global leaders to fight poverty and growing inequality in the first major work that he has authored alone since becoming pontiff.

Justin Welby, plans to drive out moneylenders and has begun to wage war against payday lenders, such as Wonga. In Francis’s first apostolic exhortation, Evagelii Gaudium ‘The Joy of the Gospel’, he covers a whole range of issues, including the need for a personal encounter with Jesus, the importance of joy in evangelism, and he condemns unjust economic systems, a trickle-down economic view of monetary policy, quoting Scripture extensively.

I scanned his exhortation and imagine Protestant evangelicals outraged or confused by such words coming from a catholic, even from the Pope himself! To give you an example : I invite all Christians, everywhere, at this very moment to a renewed personal encounter with Jesus Christ, to an openness to letting him encounter them; I ask all of you to do this and failing (?) each day. No one should think that this invitation is not meant for him or her, since no one is excluded from the joy brought by the Lord. The law does not disappoint those who take this risk; whenever we take a step towards Jesus, we come to realise that he is already there, waiting for us with open arms. Now is the time to say to Jesus: “Lord, I have let myself be deceived; in 1000 ways I have shunned your love, yet here I am once more, to renew my love and covenant with you. I need you. Save me Lord, take me once more into your redeeming embrace”. Not bad eh?!

I am chuckling as I write this reflection, wondering what some of my friends would think of me having the Pope app on my iPhone. I shall never forget the evening I was sitting in the Jerenalka pub just up the road from the International Baptist theological seminary in Prague. With friends, some staff and students, we were enjoying conversation over what for me is arguably one of the best beers in the world, a dark Kozel, when my Pope app alerted me to news of happenings in Rome. White smoke was billowing from the chimney in the Sistine Chapel. We finished our drinks and made our way to the chapel at the seminary, gathered as usual for compline but spontaneously prayed for the new Pope, sensing that in the appointment of Francis, something significant was happening, not only for the Catholic Church but for the wider world. The memory of gathering in a darkened chapel with only the words of compline on the screen and the candle burning in the centre of the circle, praying for Pope Francis, will remain with me for a long time.

I can’t say that I have regularly prayed for any Pope, (it was not something that I learnt at Bible college, nor did it feature much in the intercessions of the Baptist Church is that I have been privileged to pastor!) But I do pray for him. I pray for him that he may know God’s grace, courage and protection. Likewise I pray for Justin Welby, the Archbishop of Canterbury and lest she feels neglected, I pray regularly for the new general secretary of the Baptist union of Great Britain, Lynn Green, a much easier person to pray for and a friend and, in some sense, colleague. She, like Justin Welby, is a very able communicator.

This week I was so heartened by what my Pope app informed me of happenings in the Vatican. Preaching at St Peter’s in Rome, Pope Francis called for major changes in the Catholic Church, from the top down, saying that he knew it would be a messy business but that he expects his flock to, “dive in feet first” he went on to say, “I prefer a church which is bruised, hurting and dirty because it has been out on the streets, rather than a church which is unhealthy from being confined and from clinging to its own security… I do not want a church concerned with being at the centre and then ends up by being caught up in a web of obsessions and procedures.”  Amazing statements, revolutionary echoes of the one whom we, in our small way, seek to serve: Christ Himself.

Bring on the revolution!

Absence, it is said, makes the heart grow fonder.  I’m not sure if that is the case with my blogs, for which I apologise for the absence over recent weeks.

Like London buses of old, it will be a case of waiting a long time for one to arrive and then several come altogether!

Last month I was involved in the Community’s Peace and Reconciliation Pilgrimage organised around the Flodden 500 Commemorations.  Walking and praying, talking and sharing as we journeyed from Durham Cathedral to the battlefield over eight days, caused me to think deeply about the issues of conflict, violence and war.

As we reflected on the battle that was the bloodiest and most violent between the English and the Scots 500 years ago, a war that was to influence the lives of both nations, we were also mindful of the many wars in the world today.  Over sixty nations encountering war, civil unrest, terrorism and acts of insurrection.  War is not a thing of the past, nor is it a game to be played for entertainment on computers and mobile phones but a present reality that scars the lives of hundreds of thousands of people across the world.

The whole pilgrimage experience strengthens my leanings towards pacifism.  I am not yet a fully pledged pacifist but the more I read of the horrors of war and the wounds and trouble it causes, leads me to the conclusion that very little is gained.  I think one of the things that disturb me most is not so much the issues of defence and security that have to be considered, but rather the whole scale arms industry from which thousands of companies across the Western world profit.

The week we walked on the peace pilgrimage saw a world arms trade fair at the Excel Centre in London, something the politicians and the press chose to completely ignore in their news coverage.  Whilst the front pages were filled with horrific, graphic images of war in Syria, there was no mention of the arms, chemicals and instrumentation that in previous years had been manufactured and supplied by British and American companies.

I felt ashamed and sickened that there were some companies here in the North East of England who were represented at the trade fair.  As we think about British soldiers fighting in Iraq and Afghanistan, it is sad and salutary to realise that many will have lost their lives by weapons sold years ago to now rogue states, those whom we now consider our ‘enemy’.  God have mercy upon us….

Another thing that increasingly troubles me is the rise in nationalist and racist attitudes within the UK.  Fuelled by ignorance, fear and insecurity, allied to self-interest, it seems that we are losing the ability to think, discern and discriminate between the facts and the distorted, mis-represented and xenophobic headlines and soundbites.

As we draw near to Remembrance Sunday and recall the horrors of the two World Wars of the last century and ensuing conflicts, we need to take heed to the dangers of self-interest and nationalism that were major contributory factors both of the outbreak of the Great War in 1914 and the rise of Hitler and the Second World War in 1939.  With a predominantly right-wing press, a ‘dumbed down’ media and political soundbites, it is impossible to have a proper debate and discussion on many issues, which will serve us very poorly in the run up to any proposed referendum on whether we stay in the European Union or not.  The false accusations about Europe could lead to great damage in foreign relations and instability not only economically but politically.  We need to remember from history that virtually every economic recession has led to conflict, violence and often to warfare between nations.

I am not blind to the problems that beset the European Union, but I don’t want people to be unaware of the positives, the benefits and blessings that it has brought us. There have and continue to be undoubted economic, political, social and cultural benefits that serve the cause of justice, righteousness and mutual wellbeing.

A key and very significant achievement of the European Union is that it has promoted and majorly attained peace among European nations for more than sixty years.  This was something that was acknowledged last year when the European Union received the Nobel Peace prize, (something that I fear most people in Britain knew very little if anything about).  We should herald such an achievement and not take the peace and goodwill between our European neighbours for granted.

One of the great challenges facing the world is how we can live amicably together and strive for a peace and unity among the diversity of cultures and nations.  The task of peace and reconciliation begins in our hearts, expresses itself within our homes and is something we must embrace in Community and work and pray for in the wider world.

To be followers of Christ is to heed his call to be peacemakers and reconcilers. I have just read the Sam Sharpe lecture delivered by Neville Callam, the General Secretary of the Baptist World Alliance on ‘Deconstructing the Notion of Race’. In it he asserts that Christ is the example par excellence for rejecting racism. “Christ broke down the walls that separate people from one another. A faith centred on Christ will not accommodate the racism that trades in negative images of others. Instead, that faith asserts not only the common humanity of all people, but also the shared identity in Jesus Christ that Christians enjoy”.

I thank God for the growth of our own Community across the world and celebrate with thanksgiving the growth of Companions and Friends across the world. Shirley and I have just returned from a delightful time at L’Abri a Sauvigny, the Community House in France. I have just enjoyed another stimulating video conference call with Bill Hockey in the States and, within the last hour, have replied to emails from Australia, New Zealand, Nigeria, South Africa, Ireland and Germany. This afternoon I will see the house team at Nether Springs, a team that comprises Belgians, a Lithuanian, as well as Brits. On Saturday night we enjoyed hosting a delightful music evening at our house here in Wooler, where we were treated to some wonderful songs and stories from good friends and Companions, Lina and Laura from Lithuania. These things would have been impossible just a few years ago.

Thank God for the removal of the Iron Curtain, boundaries and barriers that excluded and caused tension and war. Thank God for a European Union that celebrates diversity and allows movement and opportunity not just for the wealthy but for some of the poor. For a Continent that has as its motto United in Diversity, that holds as much promise and potential as it does problems and challenges. Thanks be to God for the privilege and opportunity to belong to a Community that reaches out across the world, hands starching out over the divides created by man and removed by Christ.

Au revoir, arrivaderci, vaarwel, sbohem, до свидания, búcsú, Auf Wiedersehen.

Capturing the memory and missing the moment!

I guess like a lot of people reading this blog, we’ve appreciated the lovely summer weather.  Shorts and T-shirts donned each day and every opportunity taken to enjoy being outside enjoying the sun and warm air.  I was talking to somebody a few weeks ago, who didn’t seem to appreciate this gift of a summer here in Northumberland but were instead looking forward to “real sun and hot weather” that they were expecting on their holiday in the Spain.  I have just seen them and asked about their holiday which turned out to be disappointing. Not because the weather was poor but a whole mixture of experiences; poor accommodation, noisy neighbours, overcrowded beaches and a 24 hour sickness bug led them to conclude that as far as they were concerned, this summer had done nothing for them.  I did feel a little sorry for them but also couldn’t help feel that their attitude and approach to things was the main reason why they had failed to appreciate the gift of this beautiful season, which for the last couple of months has seen  wonderful warm weather.  They were living for the future, the prospect of an ideal holiday and failed to appreciate what was with them in the present.

It’s a bit like people who spend so much time on their mobile phones, with in-built cameras, taking photos, shooting videos, the overwhelming majority of which will never be looked at again and will simply add to cumbersome files in the data storage on their laptops or pc’s.  In being so concerned to capture the memory, they are missing the experience of the present moment.  The ability simply to enter in to the “sacrament of the present moment”, to experience all that that moment affords; the sights, sounds, smell, thoughts and feelings, the conversation and atmosphere, all those things that can’t be captured through a camera lens.

Ironically a brilliant photograph in The Guardian at this year’s Royal Ascot captured a moment when those in the VIP enclosure watched the Queen enter the racecourse in her carriage.  The photograph captures over half of the spectators in the stand with their IPhone and digital cameras out.  It was a brilliant photograph, it made me laugh out loud and then feel pretty sad. Being hooked by technology something in our spirits has been taken captive to what can only be recorded by mechanical means and memory gets stored in computer data and not in the heart and mind.

There’s a place for looking back and memories are important. The loss or eradication of them does damage to the human soul.  There’s also a place to look forward, to imagine, plan and envisage what might happen in the future but I would suggest there is an even greater need to appreciate the sacrament of the present moment, to live in the now, to learn to be content with what is, to appreciate all that is before us in the present, is a gift of God.

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Whilst I was speaking at Live Lounge at a church on the banks of the River Tees in Stockton, I looked out the window and thought I saw some giraffe heads in the trees on the embankment below where we were meeting. I’ve never really trusted Diet Coke but it seemed impolite to refuse the offer of a can before I stood up to speak to the assembled group, (I suspect that we shouldn’t call it a congregation because this was an ‘alternative worship’ event!). The evening continued; a pleasant, relaxed and positive experience sharing and encouraging conversation around tables and taking questions on issues of spirituality, the values and influences that shape our lives and the society in which we live. I bade farewell, got in the car and began the long journey home.

I think I drove barely 20 meters when together with other vehicles we were stopped. The delay seemed endless; in reality it was probably only five minutes before the aforementioned giraffes appeared. The whole herd, or should I say ‘tower’ of giraffes, about a dozen of them, standing elegant and resplendent in the road before us, awaiting their entrance to the parade and fireworks display that were to conclude a very successful Stockton Riverside Festival weekend. I had to get the iPhone out and take a photo and send an e-mail to Shirley and the rest of the family at home. Can you imagine me ringing and speaking or leaving a message, “I’m sorry but I’m going to be a little late, I am held up in urban Teeside behind a load of giraffes!”.

What you do in those circumstances, when after a long day, all you want to do is to get home and be with your wife. I’d left early that morning, driven down to the beautiful Mount Grace Priory in North Yorkshire, met with my closest friend, enjoyed a leisurely lunch and catch up, walked around a small reservoir, made some phone calls, done some reading and further preparation for the evening, contended with a passenger door that wouldn’t shut. Heath Robinson had nothing on the strapping of my sailing jacket and some garden twine to keep the door closed! I was greeted at Live Lounge by two other good friends and then, because people heard I was “back in town”, several folks whom I hadn’t seen for many years came to the event. Subsequent conversations, memories and catch ups were shared. A really pleasant day but I wanted to be home. My first reaction with being confronted by the delay was frustration but very quickly it turned to an awareness and appreciation of the ‘sacrament of the present moment‘. 

We have this strange notion within Western culture that we can control our destiny, exert enough power and influence, get to grips with time management, take command and determine outcomes. What a load of nonsense. As Woody Allen says, 90% of life is just showing up, that is, most things happen to us and we are just participators in those things. Like the giraffes incident; there’s no way that I could have envisaged encountering them on my way home. Instead of being frustrated, complaining, getting angry or fed up, I took the experiencing and loved every minute of it.

It was party time on the streets in Stockton, where for many people there is little cause for celebration and life, for some of its residents, holds little joy or hope. So to be with people of all ages and backgrounds, to share in conversation, easy conversation and much laughter was a real gift. I do like folk from Teeside. I probably shouldn’t say that as a Geordie but I’ve known and appreciated the warmth and welcome and down-to-earthness of people who live in the area.  We got to know many of them when we lived in Stockton, a significant number with whom we’ve retained that friendship over twenty five years. The worship leader for Live Lounge was a young woman who I had dedicated as a baby and many years later had the privilege of taking her wedding service. She is a good musician and a great, strong singer. She closed the evening by singing John Rutter’s Celtic blessing Deep peace, which evoked memories of my great parents, at whose funeral services we sang the song.

It was tough and challenging living, pioneering and pastoring a church in a rundown area of three council housing and one private housing area but it was good, and formative for my life and ministry. It shaped something within us that, as a family, we look back on with fondness and much appreciation.

I always enjoy going back and it was lovely to be on the streets with the people in festive mood. As for the giraffes ,I don’t think I’ll ever encounter them again, well not on Stockton High Street but the memory will live on and treasured for many years.